Feedback culture
Heather at Microsoft has this illuminating post on the feedback culture there:
Earlier in my career, it was likely that when given feedback, my initial response was defensiveness (which leads to more feedback by the way, trust me) and devastation ("you mean you don't think I am perfect?"). I know a lot of people that still go out of their way to avoid feedback, either because they don't like confrontation or their feelings get hurt. For me initially, it was just hard to sit there and listen to it without fighting back. You know how Michael Jackson said he's a lover not a fighter? OK, first, ew. And second, I'm the other way around, or at least a solid part of each.Anyway, you can get by at Microsoft without giving feedback (although giving feedback is a skill that's totally required if you want to become a manager), but you pretty much can't escape getting it. After some good coaching by peers and mentors (thanks Suzanne and Carrol), I've personally tackled the feedback thing. In fact, I have gotten to the point that I like it. It's not about people liking me (their choice really...and I know that not everyone does), it's about realizing how I am perceived, what could hold me back, how other people like to work, where to spend my time developing. So at this point, it's just fuel that I can use to be better at what I do.
Getting feedback is something that I don't think we're inherently wired for, but like calculus, manners, and flossing, it is a modern invention that makes our lives more complete. It's much better to *know*, and to be able to positively decide whether or not you want to change, than to be clueless about the way you roll eyes in meetings is turning off colleagues.
