January 29, 2004

My World Map

From World66, the travel guide you write:

Here, in red, are all the countries I've visited.

create your own visited country map
or write about it on the open travel guide

CBS TV

Even though I'm a Republican, I liked Moveon.org's political ad -- it's fair, it's relevant, and it's a responsible take on national politics.

So I thought it was a bit stale for CBS to refuse it on "policy" grounds. It seemed to me like this ad is a bit of entertainment in and of itself, given its provenance, and it deserves a place in advertising history. (Not that I'd expect the same courtesy from our friends across the aisle, but, hey, I call 'em like I see 'em.)

So it was with some surprise that I found CBS's reply: CBS Statement on Advocacy Advertising to be persuasive and actually, kind-of funny.

"Suggestions have also been made that we are violating our own policy by allowing the airing of messages that aim to curb drug abuse and smoking by minors. CBS is unaware of responsible groups that advocate drug abuse and smoking by minors, so it is hard to understand how these laudable efforts would constitute 'controversial issues.'"

In recent years, a cottage industry has arisen among groups that submit advocacy ads that they know will be rejected. They then resort to press releases and Internet diatribes about the rejection to reap considerable free media attention and financial contributions to support their cause. Editors and potential contributors beware.

Good job by CBS in writing a PR piece in strong, stern, even stentorian, tones.

January 28, 2004

Jobs of the future

Wanted: personal social network coordinator from Craigslist.

The bloated, dysfunctional world of Enterprise Solutions

I agree.

January 27, 2004

THere is Nothing New Under The Sun

Looks like Ecclesaistes had it wrong. Exploding whale en transprot is definitely new.

Can we buy some questions?

Dadaist humor from the Presidential Press Pool.

January 26, 2004

Spam Attack

Great article on how "that gibberish in your in-box may be good news."

I think the tide are turning in the spam wars, at least I hope so for my businesses!

John Kerry was a gasbag in 1971 too

Via Instapundit, Doonesbury has the goods.

January 22, 2004

You know what? F*ck Al Qaeda.

They have hate, we have love.

Look at the amazing work New Yorkers are doing to create a wonderful new space in our city. Productive, achievement-oriented, talented, creative people doing a fantastically amazing job.

WE'VE already won. Fuck them in their crummy little holes spewing hate, violence, repression and murder. We're better and we've proven it.

C'mon, Wesley!

I'm dying for Wes Clark to come from behind and win one of these primaries so that I can write a headline that refers to him as "The Surgin' General."

Evil, evil, evil web...

Putting SimCity Classic in my path!

Dating Advice for Girly Girls

First, make sure you are a girly-girl:

If most of those statements apply to you, you are a bit of a fluffy bunnikins for whom dating can sometimes be a tricky business. You want romance, glamour, love and affection, things the average male has been known to struggle with.

THEN, check the dating advice....

Tables of Constants

For your permanent pleasure.

January 21, 2004

Amazing

Mars in 360 degrees.

Beat the Penguin

And my high score: 323.3.

UPDATE: Reader Steve T. writes in:

I shudder to think what damage you've caused to US GDP by publicizing the link. Don't you realize you're only helping the Democrats on the economy by doing so?

Higgins Not Welcome at Davos

At least not in his typical sartorial splendor.

January 19, 2004

Strange deaths

3 Passengers Die On Flights From Miami To London is just a weird story.

This morning's obvious headline

Few big paychecks await indie filmmakers.

Chalk drawings

beyond belief

January 18, 2004

Sexy vs. Skanky

A Small Primer.

January 16, 2004

The final O'nail

Michael Kinsley delivers it straight to the crummy self-important heart of this loudmouth gasbag.

Robots

I was mesmerized by this robot dance.

January 15, 2004

Vote Dean!

Vote Dean, Light GOP Fire would sound like a plan. If it weren't for, you know, the bad guys in the world to whom Howard will capitulate.

January 14, 2004

AOK

Some say he's a sharp, clean-cut kid from California. I say he's a drunken buffoon with a page rank of 4.

January 13, 2004

Roll companies roll in their graves

Burger Giant Joins Low-Carb March, nixes buns. Ouch.

UPDATE: I am playing around with the Burger King nutrition site, and it's really interesting, easy, and fantstic! Good job Bk!

26 ways to optimize your site

Successful Site in 12 Months with Google Alone from Webmasterworld. It's good.

January 12, 2004

Re-Defeat Bush

The campaign season is young, but it's already produced a winning campaign slogan.

January 11, 2004

O'Neill: Bush Ruined Clinton Plan to Oust Saddam

From the new book by aluminum-pumping jerk Paul O'Neill.

I've never liked O'Neill. He cam to speak to us at Harvard Business School and came across as a sanctimonious, preachy jerk then, and he comes across as a sanctimonious, preachy jerk now.

The main point of his speech at HBS was that 0 work-related injuries and 0 work-related fatalities were the only acceptable outcomes for him at Alcoa, and there was no moral excuse for otherwise. When pitched the question on why not just shut down the aluminum mills, then, as that would definitely eliminate injuries and deaths, he replied with a lot of amibiguous equivocating.

This is typical for a certain breed of contemptible man: mouth the highest platitudes and lead your people nowhere real.

January 10, 2004

Gte Your Sports Phone Numbers Here

Everything is AOK has the downlow on the AP sports phone numbers rolodex
imbroglio. Check it.

January 09, 2004

Mickey Kaus sings!

Just check this out:

Dean, in contrast, wants Democrats to stop being so defensive but doesn't want to confront the reasons why they might have been put on the defensive in the first place. We've forgotten about that--it was so long ago! But was it just a Washingtonian lack of fighting spirit that rocked the party back into minority status--or was it excessive, dogmatic loyalty to the very Democratic interest groups Dean has spent the past year sucking up to? Teachers' unions whose elaborate job protections for the semi-competent have turned suburban schools into swamps of mediocrity and inner city schools into nightmares. Industrial unions such as the UAW--whose detailed local work rules help guarantee that Detroit now builds essentially no cars that Howard Dean's Honda/Volvo/VW-driving supporters might actually want to buy. Affirmative action pressure groups whose efforts guarantee that competent professionals of color must carry around for life the stigma of having received special preferences. Bilingual educators promoting what is by now a proven means of holding Latino students back. Housing lobbyists who push "house the poorest first" rules that turn HUD projects into community-destroying hellholes. A senior lobby that has prevented adjustment of Social Security benefits--including "means-testing" the benefits of the rich--until it may be too late.

January 08, 2004

Bullshit

Look, I've long been an admirer and defender of Bill Gates and Microsoft, but when I started up a company last summer, there was no way in hell I could afford to do it on the MSFT platform.

I know firsthand then that this report entitled "Get the Facts on Windows and Linux" is total bullshit. Outright lies.

Untried, untested, unstable

The Howard Dean campaign gets smacked.

Google Publishes Print Edition

Should be handy around the home.

Mike F. Has Been Avenged

How many years has it been now since host Ken Ober denied my friend Mike F. his chance at quiz-show glory by prematurely tipping Mike's Barcalounger into the void on MTV's Remote Control when he missed his first question about the Brady Bunch? Can it have been ten years already - a full decade by anyone's reckoning - since those narrowcasting bastards stripped Mike of his pride in the hope of eking out a larger audience share against a syndicated episode of Evening Shade?

~ ~ ~

"Fuck the MTV pride thieves! Tonight I avenge Mike F.," was the thought running through my mind as I stood at the checkout counter at Metro Drug on 8th Street on Wednesday evening, being filmed for an upcoming episode of MTV's hidden-camera show, Boiling Points. With a crystal-clear idea of what I had to do, I dealt calmly with the seemingly incompetent checkout girl, putting up with her nonsense and her inability to properly ring up my purchases until I'd survived the allotted time and she pulled what's called "the reveal," handing me a $100 bill and informing me of my supposedly unwitting participation in the show.

Right on cue, the production crew burst out from the surrounding aisles, waivers waving and headsets buzzing. They were nice kids - bubbly, too. Their energy level would have made you think that they'd just had a successful runthrough of the first-ever high-school production of Angels In America. Instead, they'd orchestrated a rather lifeless eight-minute segment in which a young woman wearing the sort of Kool Moe Dee eyeglasses that might as well have "HIDDEN CAMERA" engraved on them pretends to be unable to properly ring up a purchase of Ivory liquid hand soap for a guy who's already spotted at least two other "hidden" cameras - a large one up and to his left, behind the counter, and the other a small "lipstick" unit planted awkwardly among the lip balms and ravers' candy buttressing the cash register.

The cashier was almost English in her indifference to retail niceties, and so in combination with her ridiculous glasses I'd been suspicious from the moment I walked up to her register. Her setup started innocently enough, and I'm afraid my determined unflappability as the mark meant the segment never really got interesting. She rang up my purchases but said the Ivory soap wasn't going through. She called for a price check, using a white plastic telephone - the second bad prop that caused me to start looking for the cameras.

After she called in the price check, she stopped and looked at me. "Do you... smell something?" she asked. I shook my head, and asked her what she smelled. "Do you work in a zoo?" she asked. "Because that's the kind of thing I'm smelling." I played along, realizing that if I wanted to win, I was basically going to have to stand there and play improv games with her until the time was up. I asked her why her boss was taking so long with the price check, and she said he was probably locked in his office smoking weed. Then there were some other mundane exchanges about how long it was taking; and had I tried to alter the price on the Ivory liquid hand soap; and did I want to pay $120 to enroll in the Super Reducer Savings Club for a year (waving a sheet of paper on which I could make out the words "Application for Employment"); and did I want to just pay for all nine bottles of soap that the register suddenly added to the bill; and did I want to charge the minimum $25 plus $125 for the Super Reducer Club membership to my credit card and then come back tomorrow for my change on the merchandise.

Not only did I strongly suspect that I was being filmed for a hidden camera show, but I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I had a pretty good idea about which one it was. Standing there waiting for it to unfold, I had a lot of time to think about it. Right away, it felt more like MTV's Boiling Points - unfamiliar to many due to its previous airtime of 4:30 pm on weekdays - than Oxygen's "Girls Behaving Badly." It didn't involve any scantily-clad Latinas, so it obviously wasn't Univision's "Loco Video," and I wasn't being stalked by a space alien, so it wasn't the Sci-Fi Channel's "Scare Tactics." It didn't involve the mismanagement of my Escalade or any Los Angeles locations, so I was pretty sure I wasn't being Punk'd. (Anyway, who'd have the balls to be Punk'ng me? Bow Wow? JT? Lohan? Puh-lease.)

The episode that I've described doesn't sound like good television, does it? I don't think it will be. So keep an eye on Boiling Points in late January - experience the boredom for yourself, but remember that Mike F. has been avenged.

- S.C. Higgins, 1/8/04
somnosonic (at) hotmail.com

Update - Mike F. responds:

"Shucks Hig, I'm honored that my perceived shame helped you surmount the dangerous boredom that you faced while purchasing sundries.

"However, I think you have the wrong idea. The `void' into which my barcalounger was tipped was actually a super-fun party room, filled with rappers, party people and MTV personalities such as Tabitha Soren and Downtown Julie Brown. So while I may have looked like a complete idiot, the truth is that I was livin' large like a Mac Daddy! It sounds far-fetched but you must believe me.

"Anyway, congrats on keeping your cool under that tremendous duress. I think of you while I'm in the checkout line all the time. I'm glad to know it works both ways.

"At least you got a hundred bucks. All I got was a universal remote control that never worked and a case of Brut by Faberge..."

My Mom's First Blog Mentiont

An e-mail joke forwarded from my Mom:

"Subject: An Atheist was walking..

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods.
What majestic trees!
What powerful rivers!
What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river he heard a
rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to
look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked
over his shoulder and saw that the bear was
closing in on him. He looked over his
shoulder again, and the bear was evencloser.
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over
to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top
of him, reaching for him with his left paw
and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out: "Oh my God!..."

Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came
out of the sky:

"You deny my existence for all of these years, you
teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation
to a cosmic accident.
Do you expect me to help you out of this
predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It
would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You
to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could
you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

The light went out.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought
both paws together and bowed his head and spoke:

"Lord, bless this food, which I am about to
receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord
Amen."

January 06, 2004

1,347,198

Level 20

Google's AdSense

Interesting article on "Google Pressured to Allow Separate AdSense Bids".

I have to admit, I don't quite understand the hubbub. We use Google and have found the Contextual inventory does indeed perform at a lower level than search inventory. So we've simply set up two different campaigns and opted-in to search inventory for one, and contextual inventory for the other. Problem solved.

Dean VPs

Larry Sabato's Crystal Ball pick's the list of Dean VPs. New Mexico's Gov. Bill Richardson comes out on top, with Gen. Clark a distant 23rd.

100 m freestyle winning times

From 1:02 to 0:48 in 100 years. Athletic performances in the Olympics just keep improving.

January 05, 2004

A fallen soldier heads home

SOLDIER'S FUNERAL TEXAS STYLE: very moving.

January 04, 2004

Spam and Sent Items

I'm using the SpamBayes anti-spam filter. It's an Open Source "Bayesian anti-spam classifier written in Python", and I've found it to be excellent!

So I've counted up my total e-mail produciton for 2003 -- 13,544 sent items between work and home. And that doesn't count mail sent on vacation, from consulting gigs, or HotMail / Yahoo!!

January 03, 2004

An Iraqi Translator's Story

Bravery Needs No Translation tells the tale:

I am sad for us because a coward ruled our country for 35 years. He did not even have enough courage to kill himself. Now he will face the justice he prevented us from getting all these years.

My people want Saddam Hussein to be tried here by our people with an Iraqi judge. All the people want to see his defense and what he will say about all the claims, the crimes against humanity, the use of chemical weapons in the north and the south of Iraq.

He was a war criminal in Iran and Kuwait. He took Kuwaiti hostages and killed them. He imprisoned hundreds from my village and killed some of them. He killed more Iraqis than anyone else.

The future is now in our hands. My people are afraid of civil war. We don't want the USA to leave us alone because another dictator could come. We want, by ourselves, to chose our president by election. I want to feel as if we have rights, and, more importantly, duties of citizens.

What would I say to the families of those US soldiers who have died? I am embarrassed because they are killed by my people. God bless them. My family prays to God to protect USA soldiers.

(He paused then, obviously emotional). We write down on a piece of paper the names of the US soldiers that we want God to protect. We place them in the Koran and ask God to help and protect them.

What would I say to the American people? You have to be proud of your sons. You have to be proud of your army. They are fighters for freedom.

Americans, for whom the late 90s are now the subject of nostalgia, might be surprised that our actions 30, 40 years ago weigh heavily on the minds of our friends and foes alike around the world. This Iraqi is right, we did dishonor our friends in South Vietnam, Cuba, and Iraq by abandoning them to life sentences (and sometimes death sentences) at the hands of dictators. In some sense, then, it is we who are on probation in the eyes of the world's oppressed, and it is we who are proving ourselves once again to be the greatest force for freedom in the history of the world.

Toothy Flake

The Corner nails Robertson:

"I think George Bush is going to win in a walk," the religious broadcaster said on his "700 Club" program on the Virginia Beach-based Christian Broadcasting Network, which he founded. "I really believe I'm hearing from the Lord it's going to be like a blowout election in 2004. It's shaping up that way," Robertson said.

"The Lord has just blessed him," Robertson said of Bush. "I mean, he could make terrible mistakes and comes out of it. It doesn't make any difference what he does, good or bad, God picks him up because he's a man of prayer and God's blessing him."

Come on. Isn't this nigh-upon blasphemous nonsense? George Bush can do bad things but God's going to give him the White House because he's a man of prayer and God's blessing him? What if another man of prayer runs against Bush? Will it still be a "blowout"?

It's an embarassment to be in the same party as the guy memorably defined by Steve Forbes as a "toothy flake."

January 01, 2004

What One Voice Can Do

It is worth remembering:

General Secretary Gorbachev, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe, if you seek liberalization: Come here to this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!

One man, one voice, can still change the world.

What The Old Year Means In Iraq

From IRAQ THE MODEL:

Good bye 2003, good bye my most beautiful year. I'll grieve your end and sing your legend as long as I live. You made my greatest dream come true. I know that the coming years will bring all the good to my country, simply because we have put our feet on the right path. The will of the good have achieved victory, and that is enough for me to be optimistic, but those will not be as special as you were 2003; the year of freedom. Before you I was mute, and here goes my tongue praying for the best, Before you I was hand-cuffed, and here are my hands free to write, Before you my mind was tied to one thought and here I find wide horizons and greater thoughts, Before you I was isolated, and here I join the wide universe.