December 31, 2003

Hello Denmark

Thank you Denmark, and happy new year! Smuk pige jeg elsker dig!

Straight-talkin' Marketin' Man

He Made The Best Ad Ever and he is still quotable:

IBM should sue Lintas for brand rape.

Enjoy it all....

Absolut Cenedella

Absolut Cenedella 1

Absolut Cenedella 2

The Democratic underground

I would dare to assume that most of us here are in the upper 1%-20% of the population intelligence-wise. We must come to the realization that the majority of the population is in the lower 80% to 99% percent of the bell-curve.

Read this, and other delusions, in The 10 Worst Quotes From The Democratic Underground For 2003.

December 30, 2003

Popular in Denmark

A big boom today from TV 2 | Z U L U in Denmark.

By the wy, this is the grossest game I've seen on the net.

QuickBooks for your business

I'm buying QuickBooks Pro 2004 from Amazon.com. Wish me luck!

Made the Switch

From MyYahoo to My Way. You should too.

Mean Ugly Jerk

Glenn links to this vignette of Michael Wolff's poor manners.

Much of the world is divided as to whether he is an insightful commentator or a mean, ugly jerk. I still think most of the time it's the former but this reply argues the latter.

So, I suggest we give him the Google-bomb treatment. Link to this page: http://nymetro.com/wolff/ with the words "mean ugly jerk" and before long, we'll have painted our irascible rascal with the brush he deserves.

Some resolutions for Bush fans, foes

Lileks is god:

I resolve to let at least a minute pass before I accuse the administration of contemptuous high-handedness toward our allies. By which I mean France. I resolve to ask myself whether my attachment to French approval is analogous to a high school chess geek mooning after the lovely but haughty cheerleader who regards everyone with bemused contempt. She winked once. That was weeks ago. Was it all a tease?

Power corrupts and PowerPoint corrupts absolutely....

Brother Phil, aka Phee Fo, sends in this cool article on David Byrne and PowerPoint:

Byrne at first intended to spoof the software as dumbed-down expression between communication-addled business executives.

But after spending several hours designing a mock slide show, Byrne became intrigued. He decided to experiment with PowerPoint as an artistic medium -- and ponder whether it shapes how we talk and think.

You can buy Byrne's E.E.E.I. (Envisioning Emotional Epistemological Information) here.

December 29, 2003

Bush vs. Dean in the markets

The Iowa Elctronic Markets have Bush at a cumulative 54 cents on the dollar today.

Six Israeli Children Died

Sadly.

Fredonia

The Onion reports from Fredonia, Kansas:

Real-Life Grinch Celebrates 'Hanukkah' FREDONIA, KS: A real-life Grinch was found Monday in Fredonia, where, unlike his fellow residents, Josh Baum refuses to celebrate Christmas. "I'm looking forward to a nice Hanukkah," the Yuletide-shunning misanthrope said. "We'll be lighting the same menorah that's been in my family for generations." Baum would not comment on the possibility that spontaneous Christmas caroling would cause his small heart to grow three sizes.

Fredonia, NY is myhometown, and Fredonia, Kansas (which, believe it baby, I have actually visited) is one of the many towns in the country named after mine.

Qveere Eye for thye Medieval Man

Amusing.

Stasis

Stuck at 5,169 until I write another review....

More Hellos

533 e-mails at the home address.

Back from AlohaLand

Returned to find 1,162 emails in my work inbox, let's see how the home email is later.

We've got over 21,000 subscribers now at SalesLadder.

And Google continues to send over 1,000 visitors per day to Stone's Worst Album Covers Ever, which I find kind of fascinating.

December 20, 2003

Aloha!

Yes, aloha from Hawai'i. I'm blogging from a gaming internet cafe -- $4 / hour for blazing internet access on XP machines. About the global standard pricing as far as I can tell from my travels these last 24 months.

10-year-old rugrats gaming away to either side of me -- looking like William Gibson's then-futuristic cyber-surfers with thei earpieces jacked directly into the nodes.

There might be photos or might not be this week depending on how I feel.

Aloha!

December 19, 2003

The new sobriquet

Tina Brown nails it:

Howard Dean's choleric outbursts look like Elmer Fudd spluttering

Unacceptable

Abuse of prisoners, if proven true, demands the swiftest and most retaliatory of actions. If this picture reveals what it seems to reveal, there is no excuse.

Abuse of the public by uniformed officers is worse than abuse by civilians. It sows disrespect for the law. It takes advantage of the privileged position which these officers inhabit. And it dashes the very rights they are sworn to protect.

Ten times worse than the civilian equivalent these punishments should be.

My Hometown

A webcam brings you Fredonia, NY in all its glory!

Dennis Miller drifting

From TIME.com:

I was saying to liberal America, "Well, what are you offering?" And they said, "Well, we're not going to protect you, and we want some more money." That didn't interest me.

The Democratic party and the modern lberal are becoming an increasingly self-referential lot that is losing relevance for real people. When Howard Dean says "I'm from the Democratic wing of the Democratic party" and gets blood-roiling cheers from his crowds, that's all well and fine, but it's not relevant to the middle American.

While there is a faction, there is no electoral majority base that wants a candidate who openly speculates on the President's having "pre-knowledge" on 9/11, who lies about his record to meet the litmus tests of his supporters, and whose anger would get in the way of his ever being able to lead effectively.

December 18, 2003

Relax, it's Fedex!

It's good to know that the nation's largest shipper is designing its products with even the most challenging workforce in mind!

Thanks for the link Richard!

December 17, 2003

h ~ a ~ w ~ a ~ i ~ i

How Far is It?:

4968 miles

Whole Lotta Love

If the politically deceased former senator Trent Lott can make the case that when he lauded the now physically deceased Sen. Strom Thurmond, he was praising Thurmond's private life and not his once-segregationist political views, can he get his job back? After all, it sorta turns the racist criticism on its head.

I'd be interested to know what the Finnish YLEX listeners think.

Bill Murray's Great

From RollingStone.com:

Q: But most people think if you get famous, then you have nothing to worry about. Murray: What I tell people: If you want to be rich and famous, why not just try rich?

Read the whole interview for other gems.

This is going to be a great business

Match.com Launches Profile Assistance, Providing Trained Writers to Help The Site's Members Make a Great First Impression With Compelling and Irresistible Personal Profiles.

The Onion begets world peace.

With this helpful Infograph.

Answer from Finland

We asked:

*** Hello Finnish People -- can one of you please write me at blog AT cenedella D0T com and explain why we are suddenly so popular in Finland? Thank you! ***

Meri from Finland has answered!:

Hello

Your page is popular in Finland, because on of our radiostations has this
programm: tips to net. All the lisners can tell their funny pages to

http://www.yle.fi/ylex/ohjelmat/alasivu.3.shtml

The radostation YLEXis very popular in Finland

MERI

Well, thank you very much MERI, and thank you YLEX.

Fun Finnish fact:

Finns and Hungarians speak languages from the same, small family of languages called the Finno-Ugrian language family.

Deer

Wanders Through D.C.-Area Subway Station

December 16, 2003

h ~ a ~ w ~ a ~ i ~ i

I'll be there Saturday.

December 15, 2003

What a mugshot should be

Legendary funk musician George Clinton shows the way.

Lileks

A blogger deserving of the title Writer.

Here's the best Saddam commentary thus far.

He had a dream

USAToday on Tim Russert:

"At a party Saturday night in Washington, NBC Meet the Press host Tim Russert bumped into an unusually upbeat George Tenet.

He told the CIA director that he had dreamt that Saddam Hussein had been captured.

"Have a nice holiday," Tenet said, knowing then what the country would learn in nine hours: The Iraqi dictator had been caught.

On NBC's Today Sunday morning, anchor Tom Brokaw put Russert's dream in perspective, quipping that Russert, a Buffalo Bills fan, had often dreamt about the Bills winning the Super Bowl."

December 14, 2003

Safire

OK, OK. We'll have to make one exception to the no-New York Times rule: Bill Safire.

The old goat has this in today's column:

I think Saddam is still Saddam — a meretricious, malevolent megalomaniac.

For we alliteratives, quite a treat! And from the man who brought us nattering nabobs of negativism.

Stone in USA Today

Missed it, did'ya? Well here we are.

Lieberman looks good today

Especially with this hard-hitting Lieberman Statement On Saddam Hussein Capture:

ARLINGTON, VA -- Joe Lieberman issued the following statement in response to the capture of Saddam Hussein: "Hallelujah, praise the Lord. This is something that I have been advocating and praying for for more than twelve years, since the Gulf War of 1991. Saddam Hussein was a homicidal maniac, a brutal dictator, who wanted to dominate the Arab world and was supporting terrorists. He caused the death of more than a million people, including 460 Americans who went to overthrow him. This is a day of glory for the American military, a day of rejoicing for the Iraqi people, and a day of triumph and joy for anyone in the world who cares about freedom, human rights, and peace. This evil man has to face the death penalty. The international tribunal in The Hague cannot order the death penalty, so my first question about where he's going to be tried will be answered by whether that tribunal can execute him. If it cannot be done by the Iraqi military tribunal, he should be brought before an American military tribunal and face death.

We've got some challenges ahead of us. This is not over. We've got to seize this moment, bring in the international community to help us rebuild Iraq, ask NATO to join us in the peacekeeping, complete our victory over the insurgents and terrorists that are fighting us, and let the Iraqis govern themselves.

This news also makes clear the choice the Democrats face next year. If Howard Dean had his way, Saddam Hussein would still be in power today, not in prison, and the world would be a more dangerous place.

If we Democrats want to win back the White House and take this country forward, we have to show the American people that we're prepared to keep them safe. I consistently supported Saddam's removal for the past decade, and am prepared to do what it takes to win the war on terrorism at home and abroad."

So, suddenly, my favorite Democrat in the race looks like a strong contender. (Just to be clear, I agree with Joe on defense, gay & lesbian, corporate responsibility and welfare and disagree with him on economic growth, affirmative action and ANWR drilling. So it's not like I can vote for him or anything.)

From BBC Baghdad

BBC NEWS | World | Middle East | Reporters' Log: Saddam's capture

Baghdad :: James Rogers :: 1700GMT
When that videotape (of Saddam's capture) was first shown, some people quite honestly could not believe their eyes. Some, particularly the Iraqi journalists, were completely overcome with emotion. One gentleman leapt to his feet and began shouting, and then fell to his chair again apparently bursting into tears.
People in the coalition and in the streets of Iraq did not expect Saddam Hussein to be captured alive. Now that he has been captured in an apparently humiliating way, we see this rather tired old man with a long beard from his many days on the run. People are really surprised to see this man who set himself up for so many years as the strong man of this country, who ruled it with an iron fist - the supreme dictator - now reduced to hiding in a hole in the ground.
Major General Ray Ordierno, referring to that, in a twist of irony said that he was hiding in a hole in the ground just across the river from where he lorded over his people in luxurious palaces.

Now what?

Sure, there are a lot of options for how to deal with the captive Saddam at this point. Trials, tribunals, blah blah blah. But I'm worried that the best alternatives may get totally overlooked. So here are a few images that I'd be willing to accept as proof that U.S. forces have really caught him:

3) Saddam in an orange jumpsuit in a cage at Gitmo.

or

2) A White House Christmas card with a photo of George W. Bush with an elephant rifle and one foot on a prostrate Saddam.

or

1) Saddam, in shackles, being led behind a chariot in the Rose Bowl Parade.

Flying Colors

This is beautiful in an elemental, geometric way.

Enjoy.

Stone's Guide to Working Safely

New additions to our Guide to Working Safely.

Enjoy!

Worstest Album Covers III

Stoners,

Please make sure to get your entries in for the next installment of Worst Album Covers Ever!

Please send to: blog AT cenedella D0T com in time for New Years' Day!

President Bush's Bravery

Let's not forget the role that President Bush's personal bravery played in this capture.

Flying into Iraq, with lights off on Air Force One to avoid insurgents' missile strikes, the President expressed his confidence in the outcome and our forces in a way that no words lobbed from afar ever could. The message he sent was four-fold:

1) I believe in the ability of U.S. troops to protect the President of the United States even in the midst of an active enemy. An expression of confidence in their abilities in the most meaningful way.

2) I am going to share your burden. Flying 17 hours each way to spend 2 1/2 hours with the troops for a turkey dinner, when he could have just as easily stayed at home in Crawford, showed the men and women of the armed forces that this President is a leader who is there with them, not merely an order-giver hidden safely back home.

3) To the Iraqi people: It is safe enough for me to fly here, and I am confident in our victory. Which member of Saddam's inner circle finally crumbled and gave up the ghastly beast? We may never know, but we may guess that having your enemy's leader come and show his face in your town without fear was a significant factor in the betrayal of the butcher. Winning is as much about demoralizing the other side as about energizing your own.

4) We will win. The troops saw that their President took the personal and political risk of coming to Iraq and were heartened by it.

How many efforts were redoubled? How many extra hours spent on tracking down every bit of "actionable" intelligence? Look at the pictures of where Saddam was hiding. It took real dedication to look under every rock and twig to discover that spiderhole. And how many times did that extra looking lead to nought? And how many times were troops buoyed in this tedious task by their President's confidence?

An inspiring leader. A honest, courageous man.

I voted for the President in 2000 somewhat unenthusiastically, and have only grown more proud, more fond, and more loyal to him since. He has earned it, and he has grown, like Prince Harry, into the right man at the right hour.

Thanks to Glenn for the link!

We're changing our servers today, so email me at mcenedella@hotmail.com rather than the usual blog AT cenedella D0T com, OK Stoners?

Al-Jazeera and the Dead-enders

I wanted to make sure Al-Jazeera was giving the capture of Saddam front page play, and sure enough they are.

Interestingly, look at the poll on the right, which asks the same question as the English language poll here:

"Will the capture of Saddam Hussein weaken Iraqi resistance?"

I suppose it should be no surprise that 53% of English readers say yes, while only 13% of Arabic language readers do. Development gap. Way.

Almost a full deck!

And a complete set of Aces.

Lump in your throat

If you watch the video of Fatah al-Sheikh crying for joy at Saddam's capture, you can't help but be moved:

"When I saw Saddam's long beard, how he looked like a defeated man, it reminded me of the two years I spent in jail, how his agents tortured me in every way you could imagine," he said. "

The spontaneous, emotional reaction to video of Saddam being poked and probed by a doctor is one more vindication that we done right.

A Dictator's Tongue

Looks pinkish and cowardly to me.

SADDAM CAUGHT!

President Bush to Address the Nation Today at 12noon.

Extended dancing and jubilation prevents additional commentary at the present moment! What a Christmas present!!!

December 13, 2003

Google's Florida Update

Andrew Goodman has a great counter-point to the fairly uninformed piece on AlwaysOn. He's exactly right: Google owes the folks in its rankings nothing. They're making more dough than they can possibly handle at the moment -- I'm a 5-figure / year advertiser with them and they literally can't put a client service person on my account! Google's been doing updates regularly all along and getting better at catching gamers like most SEO firms.

It's nice to see a business writer with an intelligent comprehension of business practice, the law, and financing events.

This means WAR!

We're considering declaring war on AlwaysOn here at Stone. Because of Tony Perkins' lazy approach to book-writing, his not really enthusiastic style, and kind of non-story stories like this one. (We thought non-story stories were OUR beat, here at Stone!)

But mostly because it would be fun. What do you think? Email us here at blog AT cenedella D0T com.

Kikkoman

I have a permalink to this over on the right, but Reader Clyde S. reminded me of thisEnglish language version.

Enjoy!

honesty taken to a reckless extreme

Just about right.

Stone's Guide to Working Safely

Workplace safety is important. Stone is self-important.

That's why we've brought you "Stone's Guide to Working Safely".

I. OSHA recommends Toyota's new forkliftlift.

II. Use old tools in clever, previously undiscovered, ways.

III. The color pink protects against noxious gases, tick bites and blue-yellow-green fashion clashes.

IV. Electric power tools should only be used in the shallow end.

V. For streetlight repair work, rubber boots will shield you from any mishap.

Please send your additional workplace safety tips to blog@cenedella.com .

The above links should open in a new window, if not, please click here and then follow the links at the top.

p.s. If you are the original creator of this PowerPoint, e-mail me for attribution!

Disturbing Worsters

Thanks for responding.
I didn't notice a toilet in the picture, but wouldn't mind seeing Millie on one. Her beautiful eyes are open wide in anticipation, and I like the way her mouth is hanging open provocatively, too.

-Dan

Nettle

Go mettle with Nettle, a customer experience blog.

What Cheek!

Tony Perkins, whose request to "Help Make Tony Rich" is really quite a cheeky bastard. Here's the next email he sent out:

Googled. That is the title our members chose for the book we are blogging into creation. The working tagline is "The pre-IPO prospectus on the hottest company on the planet." The goal is to finish the book in the next 60 days, speed-produce it, and get it to market before the Google IPO, to complement the company's red herring prospectus. At this point, our best guess is that Google will go public in April 2004. More detail on that subject will be in my next post.

It is important for AO members to know that we have no direct inside information confirming the IPO date, whether or not Google is going public, or any specific financial information on the company. Furthermore, given the strict SEC regulations surrounding IPOs, we do not expect to get any off-limits information from company 'insiders' prior to the company's IPO.

We want to make this clear up front, to avoid giving the impression that anyone within the company is giving us financial or other information they shouldn't. The last thing we want to do is jeopardize or delay Google's IPO for no good reason!

With that important disclaimer out of the way, here is the draft of our table of contents. This outline may move around a bit, based on member input, but we at least wanted to put a few stakes in the ground.

The Google IPO and the Comeback of Silicon Valley
Why the Google story is a harbinger of good things to come.

VC Royalty Wins
In an unprecedented deal, Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers and Sequoia Capital team up and back the 12th [AO members, I'm guessing the number—does anyone know for sure?] search engine company to come to market. [Ed - Tony, you're not even going to do the basic friggin reseearch on what # search engine the company was? That's some balls.]

David, Jerry, Sergey, and Larry
They all went to Stanford to study engineering and all ended up starting billion-dollar companies before they graduated. They even helped each other along the way. Who are these geeks anyway? And how will they fare as fierce competitors?

Geeks Gone Wild
The three geeks who run Google have implemented their own unique… well, geek culture. Many observers say that beside its brand, this culture is Google's biggest competitive advantage.

The Search and Buy Economy
Google facilitates over 200 million searches a day, serves 100,000 advertisers, and generates a billion dollars in annual revenues. Net/net: the 'search and buy' economy is here to stay.

Is it all just in a brand?
Since technology gets easier and cheaper every day, is Google's primary value proposition its brand value? If so, how secure is the company's most cherished asset?

Enter Microsoft
"Google" is not recognized in Microsoft Word's spell-checker. Need we say more?

Terry, Barry, Jonathan, and Meg
No smart competitor is going to sit around for long watching Google print money. Here are just four characters (besides Bill and Steve) we'd think want some too.

About Eric Schmidt
Ultimately, Yahoo shuffled the first gun it hired for a Hollywood star. Can a really smart leader of geeks continue to build and leverage Google's global brand, or will it take an outsider like Terry Semel?

Google Is Us
Google has become more than just a new verb—it is a cultural phenomenon. 75 percent of all Website referrals originate from Google's algorithms. Mapping those inquiries could tell us exactly what the collective always-on world is thinking.

The Google Bet: The next eBay or a glorified Netscape?
Here are the choices: either ride huge profit margins to long-term success, or stumble and sell. So far, Google looks like the next eBay.

In the following weeks we will approach these and other subjects in this column, and eagerly await any and all feedback.

News from Indian Politics

My old friend Kanishka writes in with news from the frontlines of Indian parliamentary politics:

The Delhi election is finally over. Votes were cast on the 1st of December. Counting was done on the 4th. The Congress Party managed to win 47 of 70 parliamentary seats (a resounding 2/3rd majority in the Delhi legislature). My boss, Sheila Dikshit, carried her own parliamentary constituency by a record margin of 13,000 votes. Tomorrow, Sheila Dikshit will be elected the leader of the Congress Party in Delhi and on the 10th she will be sworn in for a second five-year term as Chief Minister. She becomes the first Chief Minister of Delhi ever to have won two successive terms. Fantastic learning experience for me. This was as much a field experience as banking was a desk job. This stint has given me a very real and present understanding of what the Indian democratic process entails. Sometimes I am just amazed at how one billion people manage here to govern themselves democratically and that the system even functions!

Very best wishes,

Kanishka

India's New Voters

Published: December 8 2003 |

The kind of comprehensive win secured by India's ruling Barratry Janata party in three of the four state elections held last week would once have alarmed moderates who fear the BJP's brand of fiery Hindu fundamentalism.

Fortunately, the issues on which the elections were fought and won this time were economic, not religious. The Congress party lost its decade-long hold on Madhya Pradesh because voters were fed up with potholed roads and power cuts that made it hard for children to do their homework in the evening. The BJP also displaced Congress in Rajasthan and Chhattisgarh.

Even the BJP's opponents did not accuse it of exploiting religion during the election campaigns. In the capital New Delhi, the popular Sheila Dikshit and the Congress party were returned to power because voters appreciated the efforts made in the past five years to improve the city's transport infrastructure and reduce pollution. As one Indian newspaper editor put it, these were "pothole and flyover" elections.

The lesson that should be drawn by Atal Behari Vajpayee, the 78-year-old BJP prime minister, is that his coalition can campaign and win by focusing on economic development and without yielding to the extremists within its ranks. Indian politics, traditionally a matter of caste and religion, is gradually being modernised.

But the clashes in Hyderabad yesterday, in which six people died, show that religion is still a potent force.

With a general election due next year and Congress looking weak under the leadership of Sonia Gandhi, Mr Vajpayee ought now to try to achieve at the national level what his supporters have begun in the states. These polls were a mandate for economic development and Mr Vajpayee should seize the chance to accelerate the reforms that his government is better at talking about than implementing.

India has rarely had a better opportunity to start catching up with China and reducing the shameful poverty on its streets. After a good monsoon, Indian gross domestic product is likely to grow at well over 7 per cent this year. But opinion among business leaders and politicians is divided. Some say India is poised for a new phase of explosive growth, while others believe it will sink back to the respectable 5-6 per cent growth rates to which it has become accustomed.

Corruption remains rife and infrastructure is poor despite recent improvements. Even the most determined government, given the tumultuous politics of the world's biggest democracy, would have difficulty pushing through privatisation and other awkward but overdue reforms in the run-up to the general election.

But India's voters, who confounded the opinion polls in the state elections, have made their views known more clearly than secular Indians dared to hope: governments should concern themselves more with roads and schools than with temples or mosques.

Intersting news. Contemplate how the weight of the world is going to shift as India and China democratize and become modern capitalist economies. Will *we* become the backwater?

Looooooooooooo- ooooooooooooooooo- ooooooooooooo- oooooooooo- oooooooooo- oooooooooooooo- ooooooooooo- ooooooooooooooo- oooongest Line

A truly astounding, mind-blowing line to get into the Apple Store in Tokyo, Japan.

Simply beyond belief. Count how many "theme songs" need to be brought in to do the job here.

Doonesbury

Doonesbury is on the other side of the aisle, but he's never shrill, always clever, and sometimes pokes through the puff-uppedness that can afflict the mighty. So I'll definitely link to him when he gives my man a little props and takes the piss out of Hill.

Here's a good job

Senior Editor at Barron's.

Reader Mail

Reader Jason M. writes in with an intriguing thought:

I think, instead of the Bush-Clinton grudge match, we are almost as likely to see a Condoleeza-Hillary fest....guaranteeing the first woman president.

Wow! Think of the TV ratings!

They forgot Adverbial

Stone: "'Ass Hole', compound use"

"'Ass Hole', compound use"

Just when you thought George Carlin's "Seven Dirty Words" routine was about to become hopelessly outdated, along comes HR 3687, which would impose punishment for the use of eight words on broadcast television:

To amend section 1464 of title 18, United States Code, to provide for the punishment of certain profane broadcasts, and for other purposes. (Introduced in House)

`(b) As used in this section, the term `profane', used with respect to language, includes the words `shit', `piss', `fuck', `cunt', `asshole', and the phrases `cock sucker', `mother fucker', and `ass hole', compound use (including hyphenated compounds) of such words and phrases with each other or with other words or phrases, and other grammatical forms of such words and phrases (including verb, adjective, gerund, participle, and infinitive forms).'.

December 12, 2003

Poor fella

This guy fell for the lies of Todd R. Baker of Akron, OH:

Todd's List of Lies that he told me over the two years
yeah, I know, it seems obvious they were all lies when you put them together like this, BUT they were told to me individually and every so often over the course of two years, so it wasn't so obvious at the time.

Was in a Levi’s jeans commercial

Had Saddam Hussein in his sights during the gulf war as a Navy SEAL but
didn’t get the order to shoot.

Hurt his leg during a jump in the Navy SEALS

Had his nose and arm broken during SEAL prisoner of war training exercise.
(did you ever see GI Jane?)

Told his Ex-Girlfriend that he had cancer and needed chemotherapy

Dated Heather Kosar (before she posed in playboy magazine)

Went on two dates with Alyssa Millano

(told ex-girlfriend that he met Alyssa during a Baywatch tryout. He was
selected but his C/O in the Navy wouldn’t let him participate. Oh
also stated that David Hasselhoff was a jerk)

Played in the March Madness Final Four – Cincinnati

Been to Area 51 – saw some incredible stuff. Told me about a plane
/ whatever that could hover and then shoot to another point miles away
almost instantly.

Told ex-girlfriend that the police came to his door with pictures of me
taking money out of ATM machines with his bank cards that were stolen.
This is the lie that really made me furious

Had a story published in Readers Digest

Won the local tough man competition in Pittsburg

Fought in the Gulf War, came back and his wife was pregnant with someone
else’s kid.

Loaned $5,000 to his friend that used to work at Pizza Hut. This was to
help save the guy's house. I understand that they now are truck drivers.


Told his ex-girlfriend that he was working when he wasn’t. I was
there when he told her on the phone he was at work. He was unemployed
at that time.

Upon being questioned directly by his ex-girlfriend as to whether or not
he slept with anyone while they were broken up, he outright told her no.
This is also a lie.

Has 80+ sky-diving jumps

Was drinking tequila in memory of the death of one of his friends that
served as a Navy SEAL. And since we all know that Todd R. Baker was never
a Navy SEAL we also know that this is also a lie.

Got in a fight and broke a guys nose during new year's eve party when
someone jokingly called him Rico Suavey. Talked to his ex-girlfriend and
this never happened. The guy did call him Rico but Todd kind of laughed
it off

Told me that his mother was going to pay off his Citi Financial bill

Told me that for my birthday he sent away for a Bobble-head created to
look like me. I never got it.

Told a lady at Citi Financial that his daughter was in an automobile accident
and he had to go to Florida – She doesn’t even live in Florida

Told the girl that was watching his apartment when he left the state after
the laptop episode (see Younessi.com/baker – Update for full story)
that he was taking the job in North Carolina and that they were paying
him $70,000+ a year.

Sir Mick

This is a well-crafted notice on Mick Jagger's knighthood:

"It's very nice to have honors given to you as long as you don't take it all too seriously," said Jagger, the 60-year-old prancing frontman for the Rolling Stones. He sported black suede and leather sneakers for the occasion.

I particularly like the appellation "Prancing Frontman." It's really quite funny the more you think about it.

Also rather interesting the attire he chose.

Incidentally, Karis Jagger, who is pictured with the Dilapidating Lothario, was in my Spanish I class with me at Yale.

I Think This Is Right

Dean in for New Hampshire Bush-whacking says the New York Post, and, from an "inside baseball" perspective, I'd agree. Dean's a charismatic, angry guy tapping into deep wells of resentment among Democrats, but that's not what wins Presidential elections.

A college prof of mine in polisci put it succintly this way: an idiot from either party gets 40% of the vote right off the bat. You win presidential elections by getting more of that middle 20% than the other guy.

I don't think Dean appeals to that 20%, and neither is he unprincipled enough to "drop the act" after he gets the nomination, and move heavily to the center to be positioned to do so. Remember, this is a guy who's entire electoral career is in the extremely non-representative, Socialist-congressman-supporting state of Vermont. He doesn't have compromise politics in his bones.

My favorite candidate on the Democrat side is Lieberman, but he's increasingly become the Republican's view of what a good Democrat could be, so he doesn't have much hope. Kerry is a dreadful, morbid walking zombie. Eeek.

The best candidate in the field would no doubt be Hillary Clinton. I think she's the only candidate that would have a good, and potentially great, shot at beating Bush. Despite being an ideologue, she has mass appeal to that middle 20% and has become politically astute by taking hawkish positions on Iraq, and learning how to grease another's hand to get deals done. As low as she is (and let me tell you, there is just no way you turn $1,000 into $100,000 in the commodities markets in 1 year -- no way. That's a bribe and if you're a Hillary supporter you need to come to terms with that), she has earned my grudging respect, and even my occasional sympathy and defense in this past year.

As there's no chance for a Draft Hillary succeeding against the rabid Dean army, look for a Clinton-(Jeb) Bush Dynasty rematch in 2008.

December 11, 2003

In Case You Were Wondering

From Wikipedia:

A differential manifold is a topological space with a collection of homeomorphisms from open sets to the open unit ball in Rn such that the open sets cover the space, and if f, g are homeomorpisms then the function f-1 o g from an open subset of the open unit ball to the open unit ball is infinitely differentiable. We say a function from the manifold to R is infinitely differentiable if its composition with every homemorphism results in an infinitely differentiable function from the open unit ball to R.

Now that we've got that cleared up, you can get back to Christmas shopping on your work computer.

Snowfight!

timesink

For Your Next Party

Hire a band.

$250K for the Dixie Chicks?

Peggy on Bob

Perfect:

He was one great man. He was a great American. The Founders would have loved him. So many of us are grateful that George W. Bush, earlier this month, gave Bob the presidential Medal of Freedom, our country's highest civilian honor. Well given. Freedom never had a better friend.

Condolences

Robert Bartley has passed away, which makes his winning of the Medal of Freedom earlier this month all the more sweet.

Condolences to all at the Dow Jones family.

Direct from Iraq

Zayed and team have excellent first-hand coverage of the pro-democracy marches in Baghdad.

News so good, the NY Times won't print it!

Reader Mail

Not only do they give us the Beatles.....

Hi there,

Somewone sent me a link for the Bad Album Covers, & I had a chuckle.

Thought you might appreciate this link, which shows Scandinavian
band promo pictures from the 1970's...........

Best Wishes,
Ade, Liverpool, UK

Thanks Ade!!

December 09, 2003

Muck-raking

I think there are a lot of interesting takes on Monster.com, but this Fortune story misses all of them.

Comeuppance cometh

Scroogle is yet another anti-Google screed of the sort proliferating across the web these days. This one is a bit better, with graphics:

google vt googled (2003) to mistreat or exploit through trickery or unfair actions; esp: to deprive of or cheat out of something due or expected.

Now, I think the Florida update was a smart move as it eliminates a lot of this SEO nonsense, but Google's high-handed, holier-than-thou approach is increasingly rubbing the web the wrong way. When will Google learn that somebody else's opinion matters too?

Fizzlester

friendster.com looks like she's about to take a dirtnap.

Big boom, then bust, for the social networking bubble.

Funny Business in Affiliates

Bambi reports that