WAC lines
Devastatin' Dave - Zip Zap Rap (Superstar International Records, #47-12, 1986):
Our mothers always used to tell us it was rude to point at people. They never mentioned what sort of message we'd be sending if we pointed at people while sporting weightlifter's gloves, shiny trousers, dinner-plate sunglasses and one of the juiciest jheri-curl mullets ever seen. This was the first single released by the California-based Dave Cary. By the late 90's, Dave was no longer calling himself a Turntable Slave, and was instead performing as Devastatin' Dave the Cyberslave.
12 Top Hits (Tops, #L1510):
In any graphic tableau, there are elements designed to manipulate the viewer. The argyle socks serve that purpose here, bringing one's eye down to the peppy little strapline, "Featuring the finest in top hit entertainment." And while there's no question that these wholesome youngsters appear to be enjoying themselves, one wonders how long the fun will last, given that one of the main rules for parties and vinyl is that you simply cannot put the record player on the floor next to the dancers.
Tino - Por Primera Vez (Discos Belter, #EDI-60743, 1983):
"Come hither" looks sometimes evoke the opposite reaction. This photo makes us a little uncomfortable, but not nearly as uncomfortable as Tino looks to be.
Orleans - Waking & Dreaming (Elektra/Asylum #7E-1070, 1976):
Waking AND dreaming? Barechested AND bearded? Well, self confidence is a beautiful thing. I guess. And if they can get away with wearing just beards and goofy grins to work, more power to them. Especially since the lead singer, John Hall, is now an elected official in upstate New York. This was their fourth album.
Millie Jackson - E.S.P (Spring, #33-6740, 1983)
A 1983 LP from an undisputed queen of R&B and soul. Her
special... uh.... is "energy" too tame of a word?... speaks for itself. And according to her crystal ball, there's decolletage in our future. A biography of the Georgia native on the Web site of her current label (www.weirdwreckuds.com) says the musically prolific Jackson hosts a daily radio show in Dallas. It trumpets her "high-voltage, explicit approach to sex," which may explain the fact that she's also done soft-drink advertising.
The McKeithen's -
The Nashville-based McKeithens started their "singing ministery" in 1976 and didn't call it quits until 25 years later. It remains unclear to us how the group's members are related, and why there's an apostrophe in their name on the record.
The Ministers' Quartert - Let Me Touch Him (LPS 135)
Another American gospel quartert, this time a somewhat dour foursome arranged in order of height. These gentlemen - Delbert Akin, Homer Young, Jack Richey, and Waldo Young - have been active for more than 30 years, and they're still belting out Baptist tunes at church events in the U.S.
John Bult - Julie's 16th Birthday:
A fellow called John Bult was recently the chairman of a major
international brokerage firm, and underwrote the early couture
business of John Galliano (head designer at the House of Dior). We
can say with near-total conviction that the man pictured above is not
the same John Bult, just as surely as we can say that he is not offering to
underwrite Julie's couture business.
Joyce
Not since the Mona Lisa has woman smiled so mysteriously.
Joyce has everything in common with that enigmatic muse (except the outfit, hair, glasses, teeth and recording contract).
Country Church
Is "What the hell?" a blasphemous reaction?
ManOWar - Anthology
This picture makes me feel like I've tried to leave a Viking bathhouse without paying for my towel. The management is NOT happy, and they intend to put a stop to it RIGHT NOW.
"Happiness" with Ron Johnson
Jim Post - I Love My Life
Wet moustaches are an awfully muskratty-looking phenomenon, aren't they
Millie Jackson - Back to the s_ _ t!
There are at least twenty things about this photo that baffle me. They range from minor plot issues (e.g., what's she doing with that shoe in her hand?) to larger questions of overall taste.
Millie Jackson - For Men Only
We can only hope that she washed her hands after the photoshoot for "Back to the s _ _ t!".
Freddie Gage - All my friends are dead
Freddie Gage is part of a long tradition of American jailhouse evangelists, so it's in his interest to generate an air of toughness. So why the elf boots?
The Braillettes - Our Hearts Keep Singing
We certainly don't want to poke fun at these girls - it's amazing to see people with the chips stacked against them overcome all obstacles and be achievers. But it does seem that even the handicapped get Bad Album Cover Advice.
Golden Classics - The Playmates
Not exactly the sort of Playmates we were hoping to see hugging each other tightly while squeezed onto a moped...
Roger - The Many Facets of Roger (Rhino / Warner)
Looks like one facet to us. Still, one bad album cover doesn't change the fact that Roger Troutman was a funk pioneer. As a founding member of Zapp & Roger, he was part of the force behind hits like More Bounce to the Ounce. His music was sampled by musicians like Dr. Dre and Tupac Shakur, and when Roger and his brother Larry died in an apparent murder-suicide in 1999, the funk world lost a true innovator.
Jeff - Something Special from Jeff (Hymntone Records)
His tie matches his trousers quite nicely, don't you think?
Ed McMahon - And me... I'm Ed McMahon (SC-20009)
Featuring McMahon's version of "Thank Heaven for Little Girls." Ick.
Father Robert White - The Reverend in Rhythm
